The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down! Finally, we have the guys side of the story. We always hear “The Rules” from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. (Note that all rubles are numbered “1” on purpose)

  1. Men are not mind readers.
    • Learn to work the toilet seat.
    • We need it up; you need it down.
    • You are a big girl; if it’s up, put it down.
    • Don’t complain if it’s up; you don’t hear us complaining about it down.
  2. Crying is blackmail.
  3. Ask for what you want
    • Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work!
    • Strong hints do not work!
    • Obvious hints do not work!
    • Just say it!
  4. “Yes” and “No” are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
  5. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
    • That’s what we do.
    • Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
  6. Anything we said six months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
    • In fact, all comments become null and void after seven days.
  7. If you think you’re fat, you probably are.
    • Don’t ask us.
  8. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other way.
  9. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done… Not both!
    • If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
  10. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
  11. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.
  12. All men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
    • Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.
    • Pumpkin is also a fruit.
    • We have no idea what mauve is.
  13. If we ask what is wrong and you say “Nothing,” we will act like nothing’s wrong.
    • We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
  14. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
  15. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine…really!
  16. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discourage such topic as baseball or motorsports.
    • And, if we’re thinking of sex, we probably won’t tell you unless we think you’re ready to trot.
  17. You have enough clothes.
  18. You have too many shoes.
  19. I am in shape. Round is a shape!
  20. The Author is Rob Neils.
  21. Yes, I know I have to sleep on the couch tonight.
    • But did you know him? men really don’t mind that! It’s like camping.

Pass this to as many men as you can – to give them a laugh. Pass this to as many women as you can – to give them a bigger laugh.

Counselors can have a sense of humor too.!