COULD HE BE A BATTERER?
Because nearly half of all American women will be battered at some time in their lives, they need to know how to read the warning signs. Help is as close as the telephone. You don’t have to accept violence from anyone — mates, dates, parents or friends. If you are in an abusive relationship with a batterer, break the cycle. Here are the warning signs:
- Jealousy of your time with co-workers, friends and family.
- Controlling behavior: Controls your comings and goings and your money and insists on “helping you” make personal decisions.
- Isolation: Cuts you off from all supportive resources such as telephone pals and colleagues at work.
- Blames others for his problems: Unemployment, family quarrels — everything is “your fault.”
- Hypersensitivity: Easily upset by annoyances that are part of daily life, such as being asked to work overtime, criticism of any kind, being asked to help with chores or child care.
- Cruelty to animals or children: Insensitive to their pain and suffering, may tease or hurt kids and animals.
- “Playful” use of force in sex: May throw you down and hold you during sex. May start having sex with you when you are sleeping or demand sex when you are ill or tired.
- Verbal abuse: Says cruel and hurtful things, degrades and humiliates you, wakes you up to verbally abuse you or doesn’t let you sleep.
- Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personality: Sudden mood swings and unpredictable behavior – one minute loving, the next minute angry and punitive.
- History of battering: Has hit others but has a list of excuses for having been “pushed over the edge.”
- Threats of violence: Says, “I’ll slap you,” “I’ll kill you” or “I’ll break your neck.”
- Breaking or striking objects: Breaks your possessions, beats on the table with fists, throws objects near or at you or your children.
- Uses force during an argument: Holds you down or against the wall, pushes, shoves, slaps or kicks you. This type of behavior can easily escalate to choking, stabbing or shooting.